One of the best pieces of advice I ever received in relationship management was from the mother of a boyfriend in high school. She happened to also be a teacher at the school we attended. After a brief conflict between my boyfriend and his well intentioned mother which ended in my boyfriend storming off, she looked at me with a sparkle in her eye and said, “He’ll be just fine after lunch. I learned early to feed men when they start getting crabby.”
I have now brought that brilliant piece of advice into my marriage and into my business life. However, Matt and I (being the psychological geeks that we are) have noticed that this is not just a male thing, but a human thing and that it encompasses more than just hunger. We have observed that our decisions are impacted most negatively when we are hungry, angry, hot, lonely, or tired. These are the times when we find ourselves wanting to toss in the towel or shut down.
Now granted, we have a bit of an advantage in that we are able to hold each other accountable when we notice the shift from being positive and motivated to being negative and sluggish. (Just as long as it doesn’t happen at the same time.) Often times we will allow each other to vent for a little while, but if it begins to become a “bitch-fest” we try to gently probe into one of these five areas and put some perspective on the problem.
And then of course we try to remedy the problem as quickly as possible so as to help with productivity. Maybe it is taking a 10 minute break for a snack or a quick walk around the block. Maybe a refreshed cup of Jo. But no matter what we try to keep each other from wallowing in the negative state that not only kills productivity but makes you feel like crap. (And let’s face it, when running multiple businesses, who has time to wallow?)
For example, today we were driving from one meeting to another. It was extremely hot and humid and I was mentally exhausted after a great brainstorming session. I started expressing doubts in myself and the entrepreneurial life. Matt was great and listened to me for a bit and then gently (that is the key) reminded me that this was not me talking, but rather it was me being hot and tired.
And you know what? He was right. After a quick stop for some ice cold lemonade and mental rest I was back to my normal even-keeled self.
Are there times when you notice that you struggle most? What are your triggers? What are the triggers of those around you? How can you help yourself and those around you when these moments hit?