Loading The other day I was in a lobby/waiting room after a meeting. A group of people had met there and we were going over some different ideas and business concepts. It was later at night so hardly anyone was around. Anyway, as I was sitting there a woman came out and my wife and I were talking to her with some other people. Now this lady is extremely sweet, but I made a funny comment about one of the sport’s teams she liked.
Without thinking she threw her cup of water at me. Now the funny thing is that she didn’t think there was any water in the cup, and to be honest there really wasn’t that much water in it, and yet SHE was the most surprised and embarrassed.
Now why do I bring this story up? Quite frankly because often times we are in S=R mode. Stimulus = Response. Many times we don’t think about our behavior before we react. This includes things we say, feel, think or do.
In this case I made a funny and harmless comment that the women thought irritating and she threw a bit of water on me. To be honest I was only mildly irritated at her but not really upset since the water was small, it didn’t hurt my clothing, and nobody else was around. And like I wrote above I could tell she was embarrassed more than anyone else, and besides it wasn’t really a lot of water. But the interesting thing is what happened the next time I saw her.
The next time I saw her she had a written apology’ greeting card and in it a gift certificate to a restaurant. I tried not to accept the gift telling her I thought it was funny, but she insisted I take the gift. What does this demonstrate here? I think it demonstrates reciprocity. In other words this lady felt guilty for what she did so she had to make amends. Now of course I am not talking about the apology, I am talking about the ‘gift’ with the apology.
There is a lot you can learn from this but if nothing else remember this one thing. Often times people, you and me both, your prospects, clients, vendors and “the world” are in stimulus=response mode. We see the sweet desserts or food on television=our mouth waters. Or we smell the food=our mouth waters. We hear the theme song=our heart beats. We see the silhouette…you get the idea.
Slowing ourselves down and removing ourselves from “the moment” can sometimes be very powerful. If you can just stop and examine what is going on around you, often times you can see things you never would have seen before. This is especially useful in sales situations. See what is being done to you and you can gain a different, and many times, better perspective.
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-Matt
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